Welcome to the Punch: For James McAvoy. It's about a police man coming up against the one criminal who bested him previously and figuring out that there are layers upon layers upon layers of... things happening that don't add up. I say that because I watched this film very closely and it wasn't until everything was explained in the last 10 minutes of the film that I understood what the hell I'd been watching. James McAvoy was good in it, though! And so was David Morrissey, and Andrea Riseborough, who played Brenda in Made in Dagenham. Know who else was in Made in Dagenham? Daniel Mays, who was also in this. I only ever remember his name cos it makes me think of Eddie Mays, the big baddie boss in Gangster No. 1. Anyway. Er. It was decent, and the acting's good, but i wouldn't recommend it.
The Beatles Magical Mystery Tour: For The Beatles. Now, I'm a massive fan of the Beatles, as you'll all know, and I have a quirky sense of humour with a good sense for the ridiculous, but even i know a mess when i see one. I mean Wow. Best part about it was the bit with the magicians, then the end with Your Mother Should Know. For once, I'd say it'd be fair game to give this one a miss.
They Live: as suggested by Ash. It's a John Carpenter film about a man who starts seeing the world as it really is through special glasses. I thought it was quite good! So good, it borders on brilliant! It's funny and clever. It's just a shame that the last 10 seconds let it down... I'd still recommend it, though. It's got to be considered a Sci Fi classic, surely?
Terror Planet: It's a sort of parody/self aware psuedo B movie, starring Rose McGowan and many other people. Taking away the mystery of where OTT Homage ends and bizarre parody begins, the story itself is about a group of people fighting off a small town infected with a zombie-like flesh eating virus. It's basically Cabin Fever, but on a wider scale. And a bit more bizarre, which made it hard for me to watch. Er... Bruce Willis was good.
Gosford Park: For the now defunct Stephen Fry catalogue. It's a film about a bunch of upper class people in the 1930s, all together for a shooting weekend, all getting their secrets unravelled after a murder... or two. Is it two murders if the same man gets murdered twice? It's a bit like Poirot, except the policeman, played by Stephen Fry, is an idiot. It also stars Helen Mirren, Richard E Grant, Kristin Scott Thomas, Laurence Fox, Derek Jacobi, Ryan Philippe and many, many more. It's surprisingly a good watch.
Despicable Me 2: I thought it was alright, but nowhere near as good as the first. It seemed a bit all over the place, and the ending felt very rushed. The first has stood up to many rewatchings, I don't think this one will. (ETA- My Dad loves this film and I've had to re-watch this film about 10 times in the last two months. I wouldn't could that as standing, because I still prefer the first one, but it did grow on me a bit after maybe the fourth watch)
Frozen: There's a decent story there, it's just buried beneath poor exposition and 80% of the singing. And now that I've heard/seen Let It Go in context, I roll my eyes even harder. I know, I know, 99.9% of everybody Loves this film, but I don't see it myself. I anticipate the outrage in 3... 2... 1...
Evil Dead 2: To follow on from my previous watch of Evil Dead. Seriously, everyone thinks *this* one is the best of the trilogy? Why? And through most of the film, I felt like Ash was suddenly being acted by Joey Tribbiani rather than Bruce Campbell. I know Campbell's not the best actor, but come on!
Side by Side: a documentary produced and presented by Keanu Reeves about film making, the evolution of cinematography, and the pros and cons of the digital age. It's fantastic! There's interviews with almost all big named directors you could think about. If you have any interest in the behind the scenes of movie making, it's a must watch!
A Fish Called Wanda: It was on The List, and I was assured that if I liked The Parole Officer, i'd like this. And... it wasn't as bad as what it could have been, but I didn't think it was as good as The Parole Officer, and I certainly wouldn't call it a British comedy classic. I think, because it starred John Cleese, I was expecting something like Clockwise, but I didn't find it anywhere near as funny as Clockwise.
Dragonball Evolution: Because I was a massive fan of Dragonball Z and felt it was my duty. I'm sorry I bothered! It was like watching a bad episode of Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers, and I say that as someone who Loved MMPR! My biggest annoyance was that Piccolo was nowhere near as green as he should have been. Plus, Ernie Hudson? That's a bizarre cast choice if I ever saw one!
From Up On Poppy Hill: You know what? I found it boring. I've found a few of Miyazaki's films to be boring, to be honest. I don't think every film he's done are the masterpieces people make them out to be, but this one wasn't overhyped for it's majestic amazingness, so I thought it'd be on the more quiet scale of enjoyable. Like the Castle of Cagliostro, it took me four watches but I eventually settled on "Likable". This one, though? There's nothing about the characters that hit me, and there's nothing about the story that caught me. So... yeah.
Great Expectations (2012): For some reason, I found this one a bit more watchable than the original John Mills one, but still I found all of the characters too insufferable to really like the story. And that doesn't change over different versions, obviously, because it's those characters who make the story, so... yeah. Also I got very distracted by the older Herbert Pocket, because I knew I knew him from somewhere, but I couldn't figure out where. Then it hit me! My favourite episode of Lewis! Anyway, won't be watching it again. Three versions is enough for me!
Cloudy With A Chance of Meatballs 2: It was an ok film to watch, but continuity-wise, this film doesn't exist to me. To use a TV Trope term, the characters felt Flanderised, the story was a bit naff and above all else, it was clearly just a sequel for the sake of making a sequel.
Planes I thought it was going to be just a rip off of Cars, but with aeroplanes, and maybe some nostalgia of Jimbo would kick in to help it along the way, so I didn't have any high expectations to begin with. And the first half an hour or so of it was exactly that, except for the Jimbo part. I know it's meant to be a spin off of Cars, but there's a lot of suspiciously similar substitutes there. Then it got a bit better, but then it went boring again. There's no outstanding characters, and I didn't think the script was all that engaging. I also found Skipper's backstory to be too much like Gill's original backstory, from Finding Nemo, to commend the film for any sort of surprise plot twist. I wouldn't recommend, not even for really young ones.
Pitch Perfect: As recommended by Lucy Norris. Ah... It had its good moments but erm... First there was Sister Act and Sister Act 2, then there was Bring It On, Save the Last Dance and others I can't think of right now, and then this. It's just a sugary sleep over kind of film, for me. Or it would have been. I've mainly come away from that file wanting to watch The Breakfast Club. Fat Amy was the best part of the film, but over all... I don't get the "hype" and I wouldn't go out of my way to watch it again.
Death Proof: Because the trailer for it at the beginning of Planet Terror caught my attention. It was a bit of a slow start but I stuck with it, because it intrigued me. And I'm glad I did! That was a pretty good film. Enjoyable and unpredictable, which is what I need because i've reached a point now where I see most films as a collection of bits taken from other films. The acting was solid all around, even though one main character was played by someone who was originally a stunt double who never spoke in her roles. I'd definitely recommend (except to Mig, because of one scene I know she wouldn't like).
Tooth: This is a Christmas film about the tooth fairy, and it was on my list because it seemed to be a big favourite amongst people I used to know and they always said I should absolutely watch it because I would absolutely love it! And I just don't know why, because it was awful! The film was made up mostly of British actors (Sally Phillips, Timothy Dutton, Yasmin Paige and Jim Broadbent, to name some of them, plus Debbie Chazen, who for any Sherlock enthusiasts around, is the lady who plays the mayfly victim) yet they all do shoddy american accents. Before I looked it up, I thought someone was Canadian trying to do an Australian accent, that's how bad everything was. And inconsistent too. British coins, but american dollars?
And the ham acting! Oh it was dire! It was worse than Elf, that's how bad it was. I'd recommend you getting a priest and exorcising it from a shop if you ever see it stocked anywhere. If you have it on your shelves, I have one question for you: Why?
Raging Bull: Because of The List (of d00m) told me I should absolutely watch it. I barely lasted through 40 minutes of it and then turned it off. It's biographical, about a boxer by the name of Jake LaMotta, and it was directed by Scorsese. I'm seeing a pattern with all these critically acclaimed films. They might have all the nitty gritty realism and excellent acting and behind the scenes stuff in it needed for awards... but I never find the story enjoyable. And what can you really do about it when it's a biographical piece? Well, you could turn it off, I suppose, and that's exactly what I did.
The Reckoning: The medieval murder film, not the horror one. Because Paul Bettany's in it. It was quite horrific, actually, which is something that you only figure out as the film goes on. And yet, bizarrely, it still made for a good watch. It was about a defrocked priest (Bettany) joining an acting troupe at a time when the only plays were all bible stories, and doing anything else was considered blasphemy. They used the true story of a local murder as a play, and then used the audience's response to solve the murder. It was good, if you have the thick skin for the topic.
There's some dodgy accents going on, especially from Brian Cox, who I couldn't tell if he was meant to be Geordie or Irish or at one point Australian, but over all it was a very good film. It also starred Willem Dafoe, Tom Hardy, Gina McKee, Ewen Bremner and Mark Benton. I would recommend it to the right people.
Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?: Because my Dad kept badgering me to watch it. So I watched it, and it was sort of enjoyable, but it was also a bit too bizarre to get into, cos it's this strange mixture of light-hearted characters and their fair share of serious situations. It sort of reminded me of The Frisco Kid and Stir Crazy. It's based on Homer's Odyssey, but not having read it, I've no idea how much, apart the basic idea that it's about a group of men. The singing bit was good. I'm not sure if i'd recommend it a Must See, but if anyone said, "Hey, what's a good George Clooney film to watch?" I'd say this one, because it's the only film I've liked him in.
Horrible Bosses: I've watched some bizarre films for the sake of an actor's back catalogue. The best, by far, was Bottle Shock for literally 2 minutes of Bradley Whitford. The worst to date was this film, an all just for Ioan Gruffudd. I mean, the film was pretty bad all by itself, but the part he played? That was a very bad decision on my part and I'm rethinking my film-finding method. D:
The Philadelphia Story: Starring Jimmy Stewart, Katherine Hepburn and Cary Grant. It's on the Must Watch list and so I watched it. There were what we shall call "Problematic bits", in that the first half hour includes domestic violence being found funny, BUT, once it moved on from that, it was a better film than how it started. The bit where Jimmy Stewart is drunk was absolutely hilarious. I would recommend but press the fact that this film reflects the time it was made in. If you can't bypass, hm, shall we say "cultural faux pas of the past"? To take what's good, then, well, you'll miss out on a lot of good stuff from years passed!
Foster: For the Ioan Gruffudd catalogue. What it's meant to be is a heart warming family comedy film about a child-less couple who want to adopt and they end up with an adorable little boy in a suit and a tie on their doorstep. What I appeared to watch was a creepy horror film about a couple in a failing marriage who ended up with a so called orphan on their doorsteps. Except the so called orphan was just a grown man who looks like a child, and he tried to murder the head of the orphanage. Well, not really, but that child creeped me out so much it'd have made more sense if it was a remake of the horror film Orphan. *shudder* I stopped watching at the 40 minute mark and got the priest in for an exorcism
The TV Set: For the Ioan Gruffudd cataloguing. I can see why it's considered Aaron Sorkin inspired. It's about a writer Mike, played by David Duchovny, who wrote a script for a pilot tv show and oversaw the casting, but the network producers will only take it if they make changes to it and take on the actor he doesn't like. Ioan Gruffudd's character plays the good producer who agrees with the writer: That the show deserves to be made the way it was written, aiming to a higher audience.
Unfortunately, he has no spine and his marriage to Lucy Davis's character is failing. It really shows the process of making telly in it's most disheartening light, and if you liked Studio 60 on the sunset strip, you might like this film, but keep in mind that where Wes, Matt and Danny succeeded, Mike doesn't come out of the other side of Pilot season unscathed
The Land Girls: For the Paul Bettany cataloguing. It stars Rachel Weisz, Anna Friel and Catherine McCormack. Paul Bettany was only in it for a total of five minutes, and not consecutively. But, regardless, it's very good! It's about three members of the Women's Land Army (aka land girls) working on a farm for a family who expected their son to go to war, plus a confusing love triangle. The ending's a bit abrupt but all things considered, it's a decent watch!
Scent of a Woman: Because it's on The Must See Films Ever list, but also Bradley Whitford's in it so I guess I crossed two birds off of one stone. Although I'd have been dissappointed if I'd have watched it for him because he was in it for about 10 minutes and he was a pratt. The 30 seconds in Bottleshock doesn't seem so bad, now (especially because it IS a great film). Anyway. I watched it feeling like I was watching some sort of sequel or AU or even a fanfiction of Dead Poet's Society.
There's a an all boy's school, a lad called Charlie who looked quite a bit like Charlie Dalton from DPS, and Philip Seymour Hoffman looked like he could have been Jeffrey Anderson (Todd's older brother), and there's even a suicide attempt. The film has two stories. One is about an old lonely blind man, Frank Slade (Al Pacino's character) wanting one last great weekend before it's all over, and a lad who is being bribed into grassing someone up for a prank they pulled on a teacher. If he doesn't give names in, he'll lose any chance of going to a good uni and probably his scholarship. He could have been the Cameron we'd have liked rather than the Cameron we grew to hate in DPS. The stories come together when Charlie takes the job of being Slade's aid whilst Slade's family go on holiday. It's worth a watch, if you can bear the occasional foul language and attitude.
The Gathering: For the Ioan Gruffudd cataloguing. It also stars Christina Ricci and a bucket load of other good actors. It's a biblical based horror thriller film, apparently, but er, it lacks in almost everything. I'm struggling to describe it, so I'm not even gonna bother. The acting was awful, over all it was boring, and I wouldn't recommend it.
Looking for Hortense: For the Kristin Scott Thomas catalogue. And it's a shame that she was the only good thing about the film, because her character was awful, really. It's a french film and it's about a man who is married to a theatre producer and is the son of a high court judge. He's been asked by his wife to help her friend's friend, Zorica, stay in france, after a divorce from Zorica's husband could get her deported. Sounds good so far, but his father doesn't have any time for him, he's been pushed into it without anyone listening to his thoughts on the matter, it's all just assumed that he'll do it and, after he's meant to have talked to his father, that he did it and all was successful. And when he finally does talk to his father gets a no, he has to break the news and everyone hates him for it.
And then, after finding out his wife is having an affair with the lead male actor of the play she's producing, he goes and tries to start an affair with Zorica. It all went nowhere and I pretty much want my 96 minutes back.
Even The Rain: I don't know who recommended it, but it was amazing, so thank you! It's about a film crew who go to Bolivia to film a truer telling of Christopher Columbus's exploration of new lands leading to the exploitation of the natives; But after they start filming, their lead actor becomes involved in civil unrest because the water company has raised their prices and blocked off access to community Wells. He leads everyone into riots against the government whilst the director can't do anything but try and get his crew to safety. It's absolutely amazing. If you can keep up with subtitles, I definitely recommend.
Broken Lines. It stars Dan Fredenburgh, Doraley Rosa, Paul Bettany and Harriet Watson. And I only lasted 40 minutes because it was boring and cliché. Basically the lead male character decides he'll have an affair with the first woman he sees, and somewhere between the stalking and resignation, the female lead character agrees. It's funny how even when Paul Bettany is a supporting character, he comes across as the most well rounded character. I mean, the character is suffering from PTSD and verges on emotionally abusive, but there's a depth there that the others don't have. I stopped watching at the 40 minute mark
The Young Victoria: For the Paul Bettany catalogue. In all honesty, I don't know enough about the royal family to know where the real parts ended and the cinematic embellishments, if there were any, began. But it was a good straight forward film with a very good cast. And Paul Bettany had lovely curly hair, which was a bonus. And to yet again prove that all British actors are in everything British, two cast members had been Lewis episodes
Practical Magic: For the Sandra Bullock cataloguing. Also someone I once knew recommended it to me because it was their childhood favourite. Err... I thought it was okay. For the cast it had, I thought it would have been better but it was based on a book so that probably limited things a bit. Yeah that pretty much sums it up. It was okay.
Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead: Starring Gary Oldman and Tim Roth. I watched this because, when I was in the Numb3rs fandom, the characters David and Colby were nicknamed Rosencrantz and Guildenstern, and I tried to read the play a couple of times but I struggled to follow it. I've had this film down on my list for ages! Anyway, I thought it was brilliant. I still found bits confusing but it's just so good! I almost died laughing at the bit with the hanging plant pots 10/10.
Legion: For the Paul Bettany Catalogue. It seemed to be about the beginning of the End of the World, and aimed specifically at a bunch of people in a diner in the middle of nowhere, America. But, given the way it ended, I'm not so sure it was that simple. Basically, there's a pregnant woman who's baby is going to save the world, angels are possessing people so that they could kill the baby, and Paul Bettany's character, Michael The Angel, was in charge of making sure it lived. But, it could have really been more of a test on the Angels rather than the people in the Diner. I wasn't impressed by this one, it was boring and so dark, visually wise, that I thought the settings on my DVD player had gone funny. There's a very impressive fight scene near the end, and that was good to watch, but overall, I wouldn't recommend it. Priest is better.
The Whistleblower: Both because someone recommended it to me and for the Cumberbatch Cataloguing, I can't remember which came first. It stars Rachel Weisz as a police officer who becomes a UN officer in Bosnia and unravels a trafficking ring. It's based on a true story, it is heavy going and it's as grim as you can imagine considering the subject matter. But it's a very good film and apparently even goes further than the real person's memoir, because a lot of the real life accounts had to be brushed over for legal reasons. On the other hand, a few things had to be omitted from the film for the sake of maintaining a paying audience. Either way, it's a good film if you've got the stomach for it. You don't even notice if her American accent is dodgy or not! You do with Cumberbatch's though. Thank god he only accumulates about five minutes of screen time.
House of Sand And Fog: It was for the Jennifer Connoly cataloguing but I was finding it quite boring and it's hard to care about what's happening if you don't really like any of the characters so I gave up. It's about a woman (Connoly) whose house was mistakenly repossessed and then auctioned off by the state and the "Middle eastern" Colonel (Kingsley) who bought the house out of desperation to live somewhat cheaper. She wants the house back and he wants to sell it for three times the price he paid. I stopped watching just after the 40 minute mark
Dogville: For the Paul Bettany Cataloguing. Ermmm... What a bizarre film! Plotwise, It's set during the American depression and it's about a woman, played by Nicole Kidman, who escapes from somewhere else, climbs up the rocks at the edge of the town called Dogville and seeks refuge there. Tom, played by Bettany, takes her in and talks people round in helping to keep her safe and hidden. And then the people she's escaped from go looking for her and the townspeople turn on her, and it's all downhill from there as she's turned into a slave. The story's...good? Sort of, and really well acted, but it's so bleak. It's the production that's really bizarre, though. It's more of a play than a film. It's set on a stage, there's hardly any props, doors are mime-opened with a sound effect, and the dog is drawn on the floor in chalk. In fact the layout of the whole town is outlined on the stage floor in chalk. It's just so bizarre. I don't think I'd recommend it, because as much as it makes for a striking film, it is quite disturbing and I really think it should have come with a better description and some trigger warnings.
I can hear: The Beatles ~ Two Of Us